Run, Fat girl, Run!!!

Last Monday, my cousin approached me in the gym and asked if I wanted to do the mini-marathon? Of course my ego said yes, with great enthusiasm. Even before I had a chance to think it over wisely. Seriously, I only run on a treadmill maybe once a week for about 30 min's with walking intervals. And had not done that, in a while. What was I thinking?

I guess I am trying to give myself something to work towards,but 13.1 miles is not the smartest idea. I don't think. Especially for someone who, just last year, stopped being a couch potato.

Or maybe it is the best idea, since it will help me stay focused. Plus, I do love a challenge. Even if it means I will finish waay later than anyone else. **still in disbelief**

Every since that day, I have been trying to run as much as I can handle. My workout looks like this....

10-warm-up on 3.5-4.0

12min mile running (yikes,need to trim that down) on 5.0-5.5 (guess I need to speed up)

10 min walk at 3.5-4.0 (since I'm afraid that I am going to get tangled in the treadmill, from feeling as if my heart is about to take a leave of absence)

12min mile running (same speed)

5 min walk

7 min run 5.0-5.5

4 min walk cool down

____60 min = about 400 cal burn + 3.60 miles

One of the local hospitals has offered an online training schedule for participants in Advance, Intermediate and Novice. I bet you can guess which level I am.

Well, today I have to run five miles....what?!? Are they kidding? I will do my normal 3.60 miles ..and that's it! Okay maybe I will try to do more,but I am soooo tired after that hour.

I am looking for advice from avid runners, and/or anyone that has completed a marathon. HELP!!!!!!

Hmmmm, since I haven't officially signed any papers, maybe I can get out of this. Oh hell, no I can't my cousin is persistent. DAMN IT!!!!

Seriously, help me!!!

The always truthful,

~RMG

(picture source: http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/abr/lowres/abrn639l.jpg)

Top That

30Rock made reference to this. I used to love this movie.

Enjoy the Memories,
~RMG

The Truth

I realized something..Oprah gets on my nerves!!! I truly believe that if she told people that poo on toast was good for you, they would follow. Well, I am sure everyone has heard the news or seen the O magazine issue discussing her weight gain.

Believe me, I know how hard managing weight can be.But if you listen to this video , you will hear her say, the reason she gains weight is due to her life being out of balance and that this fact has always been known. Additionally, she goes on to say that another reason for her life being out of balance was from working multiple jobs.

Okay now I know she does a lot of charitable work, but could someone please phone Oprah and tell her she's a Billionaire!!!! She doesn't have to work that hard, if she doesn't want to. Come on, give us a break.

Oh but wait, in this video she begins telling her viewers that they need to plan their food, and exercise to lose weight (no shit, I say). And, that she now realizes this. WHAT!!!!! Oprah has been dealing with her weight (on the show) for over 30 years, but ONLY NOW is realizing you have to plan your food and exercise.

The sad thing is the Poop Cult Followers,will try to follow her exact weight loss plan.

Did anyone notice that the biggest treat she gives herself is a Sweet Potato?

Why is that?!? It is scary when people do not allow themselves chips, sweets or whatever else it is they may like to nosh on. I,myself , allow all of these things (occasionally),so I will not end up looking like Violet from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (Gene Wilder Version is my favorite).

I guess my biggest problem I have with Oprah, is that she often gives advice as if she is Confucius or Carl Jung.

And/or maybe the issue is with those people who cannot start a sentence without saying, "Oprah says." Grrrrr, she does not have all the answers,which should be evident from the weight gain and two fake memoirs.

I just hope this is enough evidence for people to start thinking for themselves and not like Oprah.

Cause, I really don't think I can take someone else telling me what she says we should do in/with our lives.

The always Truthful,
~RMG

(Picture Source:http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200901_omag_oprah_weight)

This one is for the Men...

If you are in a relationship, and have hugged another woman in front of your lady and she let you keep your penis go to her quickly. Oh you can move quicker than that. I'm waiting till you reach her. Are you there yet? Okay, tell her your penis only belongs to her and you love her. (Some of you may not be able to say any of this. And, you may have to be worried)

No really, this is just wrong. It would take a whole hell of a lot more, than my husband hugging another woman before I would set his penis on FIRE!!!! Really, that's precious equipment.

This woman is crazy (maybe literally). The most I would have done, depending on the level of hug, would be to ask my love, who is that B*? Or made it hard for him to swallow for a week,because his bowl of food was laced with a bottle of hot sauce. Cause, you know how I roll *wink*. I just cannot, fathom burning his...oh hell you know. This whole story is just tragic.

Wait, I am still confused. What did this woman think would happen, even if only her husbands "friend" was burnt? If this poor man would still be alive and only suffered this offense, I am sure it would not work correctly for a long time, maybe ever again. So she would have been sitting there with a burnt nerve damaged Johnson. How would that benefit her?

The always truthful,
~RMG

P.S. Did you like the Hott!! link color I used? I know, poor humor.

(picture source: http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/796646/2/istockphoto_796646_hot_dog_roasting_over_a_fire.jpg)

2 for 1 Monday....

Okay so the New Year is upon us and I, like many others, made a resolution to lose weight. Believe me people, it can be done. I had this same resolution for 2008 and lost 30lbs!!!! Now I am trying to lose the last little bit, and it will be done. Slow and steady wins the race.

Anyhoo this weekend instead of going to the gym, I decided to do the whole 40min Biggest Loser Cardio Max video.(The video is broken into 20, 10 & 10 min segments, I just combined them all) I just knew that I could do this whole video with ease, since I workout about 3-4hrs a wk doing high intensity cardio in the gym. Ha!!!!!

Well I learned that being Priggish doesn't pay. And because of this, I have suffered from Soreassness!!! Yeah, I made that word up. It was soo bad yesterday, that I had to hang on to the wall just to sit on the loo or turn over in my sleep. And, each time I cried and winced in pain. That video is no joke,but it works.

Are you asking, what did you get in this 2 for 1 Monday?

I'll tell yah, it was two new words-Priggish and Soreassness in one blog.

Now feel free to use either one. Although, you may cause confusion or look a bit foolish when you use the word Soreassness. However, if you are like me and don't mind saying crazy things, then use it.

The always truthful,

~RMG

Picture Source: http://www.amazon.com/Biggest-Loser-Workout-Cardio-Max/dp/B000WEVGHA/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1231206998&sr=8-1