Pietro Longhi, The Confession,
1755 Galleria degli Uffizi, Florence
I have chosen this title proudly.
One of the greatest coping mechanisms I have found (and works for me), in this marriage, is to find ways to end an argument in a passive/aggressive way.
Let me explain...
Typically when the man I married really ticks me off, I try to go to bed before he does.
This way, I can throw his pillow across the room, and then I lie in wait to watch him frantically attempt to locate his pillow - in the dark. At this point, I find myself laughing quietly (you know the laugh that hurts, but you cannot make a sound...okay the classroom laugh) as he pats the bed to find this pillow. All the while, it's on the floor!!!! Hehehe, oh I love me.
But now, he is hip to this treatment and no longer searches on the bed for his missing pillow. He goes straight to the floor. Darn him.
It is truly sick and probably unnecessary. Clearly, as a Master's level clinician, I really should have better conflict resolution skills. But, it is different when you are in the thick of it. Personally, that is.
Recently I got mad at my husband, but this time there were no pillows thrown. Instead, he was on his way out to get a Christmas gift and I noticed his pants were very noticeably unzipped. I parted my mouth to tell him,but then I thought F' it and closed my mouth and smirked as he left.
I had complete confidence that he would discover what I knew. Well about an hour later, he returns home with some of our favorite snacks ( I guess trying to make amends). And yes, his pants were still UNZIPPED!!!!!!
At that moment, I realized, I let this man walk around a store with his underoos showing.
Instantly, I felt guilty but still (of course) found it funny. I guess I am a mental terrorist.
Honestly, I find it's a better option than snapping his little friggin' head off.
Trust me, I am plenty direct and in his face, but I know my limits...and that's when this behavior is helpful. For us both.
I know that I am not the only wife/girlfriend that does or has done something passive-aggressive to their mate when they really piss you off.
So come on women confess. I'll be here waiting - for some new ideas.
The Always Truthful,
~RMG
3 comments:
You are perfectly evil. I usually do something passive aggressive in a very aggressive way. Like THE BOXES. So we had these boxes that 6 months ago, I told ..excuse me, asked the boy to get rid of. Nothing. Asked again, nothing...finally I got mad, called a guy friend and told him that we're loading up his truck and throwing away any bullshit that isn't tied down. What this means is that my boy...Rob, has to get out of bed and work on a Sunday morning. He had the nerve to ask why I hadn't asked him to move the boxes?! Is he serious? for fuck's sake. I asked 52 damned times. Finally I just called in backup and forced his hand.
There are times when I snap, but I choose this way cause I hate being angry. It tends to be dangerous for the other person.
Thanks for following my blog. :)
After an argument, I find myself walking away to the bedroom, and talking crap about the "male" in the other room....like i am really carrying a conversation with another human being, but i am basically bitching at myself. AND this makes him mad! AND of course, I sound crazy.
he'll come in after 5 minutes and apologize for the mental anguish he has caused. we then "explore the issues" :) kiss and make up.
i think i may have to revert to the silent treatment becauase i like the search and find, pillow in the dark tactic....this is way more fun that talking to yourself!
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